God's Sovereignty

I should be at work this morning, but I again stumbled across another bible verse this morning that caused me to take a step back. Ok, I don't really believe that we stumble across bible verses, I truly believe that God weaves the tapestry and we are exactly where we are suppose to be at exactly the right time. This morning I was walking at the park listening to Christian radio. One of my favorite talk radio shows is Family Life Today with Dennis Rainey. This morning, they continued with their conversation with Tommy Nelson, a pastor in Texas that is known for his insightful Songs of Solomon and Ecclesiastes sermons. This morning, Mr. Nelson quoted Deuteronomy 29:29:

"The secret things belong to the Lord our God, but the things revealed belong to us and to our children forever, that we may follow all the words of this law." NIV

Now, if I was a bit cynical (which I may be), my first response would be a "hmph!" But if we dig deeper, and truly believe that all things happen for a reason, then God is sovereign, He knows all things, He is in control of all things. And maybe, just maybe, we don't need to know the "whys" of why things happen.

I'll write more of my thoughts later.

Changing the Names to Protect the Innocent

I recently read on the Ethiopian adoption boards the need for security regarding our children's names. After some thought, I've edited all the posts to reflect "nicknames" for our children to protect them from internet predators. As sad as this is, it is a cruel reality in our world today.

Something Struck Me About This....

I'm currently reading Raising Adopted Children by Lois Ruskai Melina. The first chapter was difficult to get through, but I pressed on anyway. Chapter 2, Adjustment of the Family really hit home with me when I realized we were doing something right without even knowing it. Guess everyone can throw out all those blonde jokes I've heard for years.

Seriously, I learned that even infants have an adjustment period, especially if they are over 6 months of age. Prior to six months old, they cannot distinquish between individuals. I did not know that. I've found through reading this book that there is much I do not know about child development and adoption. This chapter goes on to say that three to six-month olds are more adaptive to change (knowing we'd be with her now was even more difficult after reading that since Pickles is currently 5 1/2 months 0ld). Six to twelve-month olds are vulnerable because they become attached to a primary caregiver. Even more interesting is that a child in this age will experience signs of grief, which can be expressed in uncontrollable crying, depression, withdrawal, disinterest in play or food. Typical with the 5 stages of grief, any of these signs in infants can occur simultaneously, repeat, and/or occur out of sequence.

So, with that said, WHAT are we doing right???? Even though Chapter 1 was challenging to get through, what caught my eye was the section on "naming and renaming." We had many discussions prior to our referral about what her name was going to be. My step-son-in-law has a strong opinion about us maintaining some of her identiy and kept drilling us on how we planned to incorporate the Ethiopian culture into our own family traditions. At the time, I did not have any specific answers to his questions. But as time has elaspsed during the adoption process, I've had multiple "realizations" regarding culture, names, etc. and how to address the transracial issues that we know we will be facing.

Many advised us to change her name, make it more "Americanized." Originally, I had the same thought and was pretty convicted that americanizing her name would only be in her best interest. The morning of August 1st, the day after we received and accepted Pickle's referral, both David and I were convicted that we needed to keep her name. At the time, I could not tell you why I had such a strong change of heart. Last night I read this: "It is important to many adoptees to know the names their birth parents gave them. If the birth parent gives the child a name, the adoptive parents should make every attempt to keep that name in some way. Doing so acknowledges the importance of the birth parents to the child." Raising Adopted Children, Melina, Lois Ruskai, pg. 20. WOW.....that is profound! And here we are doing something right and not even know it!

When we travel in October (hopefully), arrangements are being made to meet Pickle's birth mother, grandmother and half-brother, who is 7 years old. I'm sure this meeting will be emotional for all, but I will stand proud when I tell Pickle's birth mom that we will keep the name she named her, in honor of her. We will always honor her courage and strength in the decision to relinquish her child in the hopes of a better life.

Amharic is the language of Ethiopia. Pickles means "lucky" in Amharic. Not only do we feel "lucky" to be able to bring her into our family and raise her, we feel blessed and honored that we were chosen to be her adoptive parents.

To Pickles

Darling Pickles:

My sweet child. I have yet to look into your eyes, or to hold you, but I knew from the moment I saw you that God intended for you to be part of this family. We pray daily for you and your caregivers. We pray God surrounds you with comfort and love while we wait for you. Our wonderful church family is also praying for you. We can't wait to bring you home, to hold you, to love you unconditionally, but most important, to raise you in a Godly home, knowing the Word of God.

We pray that God will equip us to raise you, to incorporate your country's history and culture into our own. The pull we already feel for Ethiopia is amazing. We can't wait to experience your home country first hand, and we pray that God will direct us all back to Ethiopia one day, in whatever capacity that may be: as a visitor, a missionary, etc.

We are so thankful to God for giving us the privilege to raise you.

Love,
Mom and Dad

Jury Duty?

There seems to be no end to the craziness called the adoption process. The hurdles are many, the hoops seem endless, and in the end, the great reward of holding your child in your arms. During the process, regardless of how short or long the timeline, it seems endless. The time between referral and "gotcha day" drag similar to a sweet young child counting the days until Christmas!

Today in the mail I received a Jury Call notice, for of all days, September 25, 2007, the day the courts re-open in Ethiopia! Coincidence?? I don't think so! God does truly have a good sense of humor!!! Initially, I was a little dumbfounded by the thought of having to serve my civic duty when I have a little girl waiting for me in Africa. I even called the Jury Division in our local county and told them nothing is going to stop me from going and getting her in (hopefully) October! Thankfully, she was very understanding. I still plan on showing up for Jury Duty on September 25th, with a letter from Gladney confirming where we are in the adoption process. Hopefully, if I do get selected for a trial, it will be short and sweet, so I can fulfill my civic duty and then race to Ethiopia to get sweet Edilawit.

Squeeker is so funny when he talks about her. He is so excited about having a baby sister. I hope the "novelty" doesn't where off when the realities of an infant sister hit home with him.

Last week, while reading one of the many "Ethiopian Adoption Blogs" I ran across an incredible bible verse that my sweet husband, David is trying to convince everyone he knows to remane it Robin 2:3, instead of Habakkuh 2.3:

"For the revelation awaits an appointed time;

it speaks of the end

and will not prove false.

Though it will linger, wait for it;

it will certainly come and will not delay." NIV

God is so awesome to give you exactly what you need when you need it. Last week, knowing we were suppose to be in Ethiopia, was so hard. I struggled, I cried, I pouted, I was so very sad, until I stumbled across this verse. Finally, peace just enveloped me, just as God promises.

Our adoption journey is such a testimony to being obedient to God's will and his amazing grace. From the very beginning when we were searching countries, home study agencies, and finally placement agencies, God's hand has been it in from the beginning. And when I asked David HOW are we going to pay for this adoption when we had $25.00 left in our savings account after mailing in our I600-A application, he gently reminded me that God has provided for us exactly when we needed, in the exact amount in the past and I just needed to trust Him. If we are in God's will in adopting, He will provide, and has HE ever!

Adoption, especially international adoption, is a journey of faith. It's like being perpetually pregnant with no end in sight. The reward is great, but the journey is simultaneously exciting and frightening. It is not for the faint-hearted. God equips the called, He does not call the equipped. How else could I partake on this amazing journey????

Newest Pic of Pickles

She's 5 1/2 months old in this picture!! It is one of our favorites!!!

We should be holding Pickles now...

Today has been a difficult day. Actually, the past four days have been really hard. To briefly catch up, we received a referral for a 4 1/2 month old little girl named "Pickles" on July 31st. Our court date was miraculously set for August 3rd -- the last day of court before the 7 week closure due to rainy season. What a high we were on when we got the call in the afternoon saying we were approved by the court and we were officially Pickle's parents. We celebrated by going shopping (what else???) and buying her clothes and other "baby stuff" we needed for our trip.

Monday, the phone call came from Mary T. at Gladney saying there was a mistake in the paperwork and we would have to wait until the courts reopened on September 25th to resolve the paperwork problem. In the chaos of trying to get through before the court closure, our last name was typed (??) incorrectly on the official adoption contract. The next few days were a roller coaster of emotions. We were able to petitition the judge "on-call" during court closure to hear our case. We were so confident that God was going to work this all out, because His hand had been on the adoption from the very beginning. I woke up at 3:15 am. Thursday morning feeling my shoulder being shaken, with someone telling me: "Robin, wake up, you need to pray." Of course, I did what any other wife would do, and I woke up David. We started praying and prayed for almost an hour that God will touch the heart of the judge to fix the document so we could travel as planned on August 21st. Even though Mary T. said not to expect to hear anything until the following Thurday, I knew in my heart that Mary would call with some sort of news. The call did come in the afternoon, telling us that the judge on-call heard the case and cannot do anything about it until the courts re-opened. We were crushed. I feel like the rug got pulled out from us. WHY??? I kept asking myself. WHY God???? WHY now when we've felt your presence during the entire adoption process???? We may never know why, but I am trying to keep my eyes focused on above, praying without ceasing, that when the courts reopen in September, it will be a simple fix and we'll travel in October to get our beautiful daughter.

Originally, her name was going to be Evangeline Grace. Evangeline was my maternal grandmother, Grace was David's aunt's name. It just seemed to work (ok, maybe more for me than for David.) When we saw the picture of Pickleson July 31st, I knew in my heart that she was our daugher. I agonized for years over whether I could love a child that I did not birth. All those fears slid away as if they never existed. That moment I laid eyes on her beautiful face, my heart swelled with love. Edilawit's bio mother named her. On Wednesday, August 1st, both David and I woke up knowing in our hearts that her name was Pickles. How could we change it --- it is all she has from her birth mom.

So, Pickes it is. I'm going to call something different. David and Squeeker have already named her Dill Pickles. Leave it to them to come up with a name like that!!!

Well, that's all for now. I have to finish dinner and get ready for church. I'm praying that God will grant me some peace as we wait until September, as my heart breaks today for the child I should be holding at this moment.